Blood and Guts and Ice Cream Dreams

A Complete List of Instrument Stereotypes, as Noted by instrumentastrology

• Banjo: You're probably Honey Boo-Boo's third cousin removed four times or something. Stay away from the rest of us.
• Bassoon: You try to be different, and are probably socially awkward. Odds are you don't talk much, and when you do you say the wrong things.
• Bass Clarinet: You're awkward and obsessive.
• Baritone: Identity unknown. You are a mystery, a Pandora's box.
• Cello: Underneath the band uniform you have a set of rock hard abs and the body of a god or goddess. You have a smile to kill for but are also painfully shy.
• Clarinet: You like to turn up your nose at other people in your section and complain about them behind their backs. You're a harsh critic.
• Double Bass: You're extremely intelligent and shy but your thoughts are scattered and random. You probably have dark hair.
• Flute: If you're good you're probably a bitch to other people in your section. Even if you aren't, people talk about you no matter what. You complain a lot and while you're emotionally capable of handling yourself, you probably wouldn't survive for too long out in the middle of the woods. Odds are you would also kill other flautists to get a higher chair.
• French Horn: You know, you're pretty sexy. If you practice. If you don't...uh...
• Guitar: You're obsessed with your preferred gender and like to talk about cars
• Harp: You live the high life because let's face it those things are pretty damned expensive. You have a Ferrari in your garage, don't you?
• Mandolin: You're a few centuries off. You run around in tights and play ballads to heroes of war to other peasants on the streets.
• Oboe: You're extremely awkward and nobody gets your sense of humor. You also probably have plans of mass destruction hidden away in your instrument case.
• Organ: You live in a church.
• Percussion: You don't like interacting with other sections and keep to yourselves. You are very competitive and like fast food.
• Piccolo: Annoying and never shuts up. Ever. Also slightly self centered.
• Piano: You probably have no room in your house to walk because of all the music books hidden around your house. You probably also have an affinity for cats.
• Recorder: You're a third grader or someone who was bored enough to actually learn the thing on the side.
• Saxophone: You're extremely competitive but fall over your words when you try and speak coherent sentences.
• Trombone: You're tall and skinny and very quiet. But we all know you're just planning your next murder.
• Trumpet: Ego. Ego ego ego ego ego. It grows and it grows and it consumes the entire universe.
• Tuba: You like pizza and have a deep voice. Odds are you have a funny walk.
• Ukulele: You're a surfer and you live in Hawaii. No exceptions
• Viola: You hate violinists and are very calm, and not extraordinarily competitive. You are a simple folk.
• Violin: You are the most competitive instrument that there is. It's bothering you right now, knowing your instrument was last on this list. Try not to stab anyone.